Thoughts on girl-watching

• The principle of complementarity – if they are watching you, then it is ok for you to watch them. This principle is also relevant when the object of your attention is wearing sunglasses. It is then often reasonable to assume that they are watching you, and therefore ok for you to watch them.
• The primary uses of girl-watching are: to find mates, to learn more about the opposite sex, to learn more about your own aesthetic sense, and of course the aesthetic pleasure in itself.
• There is some use of girl-watching to third parties: by observing what men watch, women learn what men find attractive and vice-versa.
• Empathy is vital. It is extremely important to consider the emotions of the object of your attention. We live in an age when society and norms are changing rapidly. Therefore, it is not possible formulate some simple rules of behaviour and expect them to fit a varying and extremely complex world. Modern etiquette must focus on consideration for others. Thus, staring like a maniac is almost never ok.
• Expectations are important: “she cannot dress like that and not expect glances.” “She cannot be in this club and not expect glances.” Clothes with text of course attract attention and it is reasonable to assume that the wearer wants the text to be read.
• Men should be more careful about watching solitary women, as they may feel threatened. A woman in the company of a man also should not be watched too overtly as it is reasonable to assume that she is taken and not interested in other men. A group of girls is ideal for girl-watching.
• Opportunism should increase acceptability. For example, a woman employed partly for her looks and dressed to expose certain parts of her anatomy is using her looks to improve her economic status. This makes watching her more acceptable.
• When people are forced through circumstance to expose themselves, it is not ok to look (bathroom, putting on a bathing suit at the beach, economic desperation, nursing babies etc)
• Celebrities: those with real skills and those who have not become celebrities by choice do not have the luxury of leading a normal life and in practice are in a “need” situation which makes it less ok to watch them.
• Those celebrities who become so simply by choosing to expose themselves in mass media (reality TV etc) should not be given the same courtesy.
• Too much girl-watching is bad for your personal development. You dehumanise and objectify to an unhealthy extent.